Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Oh The Joys of Clothes!

So its been about 11 months since my son was born. I had weighed a little more than I wanted before I got pregnant but not an outrageous amount and who doesn't right? Anyway, being pregnant and bigger than I have ever been in my life gave me a new appreciation for my pre-pregnancy body. I couldn't wait to wear pants with zippers again and tie my own shoes, which is sad I know.
It actually didn't take as long as I thought before I was losing weight and pretty much back to my old size. I had bought a couple pairs of pants right after and they were getting bigger and bigger. I was thrilled and took out my pre-pregnancy clothes happily. I even saw pictures of myself pre-pregnancy and thought how skinny I looked (which is not something I would have thought before). What no one told me was that my old clothes might not fit right either.
So now basically I have no clothes to wear. My new clothes are way too big but my old clothes are big in some places but too small in others. I have no idea what's going on. I can't just go down a size because that would be too small or at least really inappropriate for work. My stomach is still not completely flat (go figure) but everything else looks to be about the same as before. So what's going on? Why can I not find anything that fits? Why doesn't anyone tell you this before you have a baby? To top it all off, we're going on vacation to the Dominican in a few weeks and I have to put this new body into a bathingsuit...a word I wasn't really comfortable with before the baby. Everyone always says the typical comments..."you look great!" and "wow, you lost all the weight!". I appreciate the comments but I still feel uncomfortable. I have no idea what to wear, where to shop, or if the weight will keep shifting and I'll be going through this all again in a couple months (which one friend told me will definitely happen).
Before I got pregnant I was in the process of switching from juniors to womens clothing. It wasn't something I wanted to do or was comfortable with. I was used to juniors, knew what size I was and liked the clothes better than the "stuffy old lady clothes" I felt were in the women's section. Now I know I shouldn't be in the juniors department and it's no wonder those clothes no longer fit. But....I can't seem to find women's clothes that fit right either. Don't get my wrong....I love my son, I plan to have more babies and I'm thrilled to have lost the weight....I guess I'm just having trouble adjusting to the new body.

Monday, November 23, 2009

About Me

My name is Kristen but most people just call me Krissy. I went to Fitchburg State College in Mass and got my bachelor's in Early Childhood education. While there I met my husband, Erik and we have been married for almost 3 and 1/2 years. He is my best friend and the love of my life. We have been very happy together and look forward to many more years.
We have a 4 year old dog named Harry. He is a black lab and quite possibly the best dog ever. He is sweet and loving and suffers from a little bit of separation anxiety.
Cameron joined us last year the day after Christmas. It was not what I would call an easy or quick labor by any means but he is completely worth it! He is the best baby and I can't believe he's almost a year old. Cam just started walking and is getting to be such a big boy!
I am currently a preschool teacher and really enjoy working with young children. I wish I could be home with my little guy but it just isn't feasible right now. I am back in school getting my masters in Special Education and should be done in May!!!
All in all, life is pretty good and if the economy would turn itself around things would be great!


I love kids and always have. Knowing this about myself made the decision to be a teacher simple. I am an Early Childhood teacher and love what I do. But it's not really the same as having your own baby and being a mom is something I have wanted all my life.
Almost 11 months ago I gave birth to a beautiful, wonderful and amazing little boy, Cameron (and I'm not biased at all, haha). Cam was born the day after Christmas and it is so hard to believe that he will soon be a year old. I know everyone says it goes by in a blink but I never really understood until now. I love every minute I get to spend with him and now that he's getting bigger he has more of his own personality and is so much fun to be around. I love to hear him laugh and giggle and watch him learn how to crawl and walk. Hearing him say "mama" was one of the most amazing things I have witnessed. All in all, life is pretty good, but there are a few changes I would make.
Going back to work after having Cam was probably the toughest thing I have ever done. A job I once loved and couldn't imagine not doing suddenly seemed less important. Why take care of someone else's kid when all I wanted was to be with my own? As sad as it is, it came down to finances. My husband and I just can't afford for me not to work and I hate that it all comes back to money. But money makes the world go round and so back to work I went.
All day I think about what he is doing, what I am missing and if I am doing the right thing. It is just so hard to know if I am making the right decisions. He is a happy baby and is thriving but I just feel like I'm missing it.
Luckily he's with my mom while I'm at work which makes me feel a little better. I like that he gets to spend time with his grandmother and he will start seeing his cousin (who is only 3 weeks younger) a couple times a week soon. He has a great time during the day and I know he is happy. I just feel like time has already gone by so quickly and will only continue to do so. What am I missing while I'm away? Does he even realize I'm not there? Am I only thinking of myself?
I went to daycare as a child and loved it. I have a great relationship with my parents and never thought anything of sending my own children to daycare. Now that the time has come though, it is much harder to do than I thought. I feel like I am always stressed about something and worried about how my decisions will affect his life. As my own mom would say, "welcome to parenthood".
Hopefully one day I will be able to stay at home. I'm not saying that I never want to work again. I just feel that my time would be better spent with my own baby and seeing that he grows up to be the person I know he can be. Who knew a few years ago that this would be what occupies my mind most of the time? I love being a mom and I have the best baby in the world...now if only I could spend more time with him life would be pretty perfect.